STICKBALL AND BARBIE VERSUS MOXIE TEENS, BRATZ AND OTHER DISTRACTIONS

The Moxie Teenz are here – I guess to compete with Bratz dolls. Why leave all that money to the maker of Bratz?

I bought a Stick-ball bat today for my kid Nodari. I can’t tell you how many old timers had something to say about it on the way home. Even the guy who sold it to me…. “When I was a kid we just used a broom handle and a Spalding.” What kid knows what a Spalding is?

For girls it was David Cassidy parties and Tiger Beat magazine. I think we still have pictures of my sister Mandy – yes THE Amanda McLane (who’s video “Thank You” just came out – you can see it on her site http://www.amanda-mclane.com). I guess she had Barbie dolls. Barbie was a stewardess, or a princess or whatever…

Now there should be poll dancing Barbie, Brawling Barbie, cocaine-sniffing barbie, DWI Barbie and Rehab Barbie, etc. But you can use your imagination in the story line because there’s BRATZ and MOXIE TEENZ DOLLS. How come I never had a Johnny Rotten Doll? Oh because I was already playing in my first band by that point going to shows.

Could you imagine the destruction you would have done with your Sex Pistols dolls? Johnny Rotten, Steve Jones, Sid Vicious and Paul Cook? And a Glen Matlock Doll perhaps too? Comes complete with Tour Bus and Red Necks throwing beer bottles.

I say give the Moxie Teens a break – and the Bratz too. Equip one of them with a Coke spoon to go along with her compact, another with a lesbian lover, another with a get out of jail free card!!! Do we want our kids following the Moxie Teens. My god – let little girls grow up? And instead of our boys knowing all the latest gangster rap lyrics and dressing like ding dongs with their baseball hats off to the side and pants on the ground, or playing x-box and Play-Station all day – what about Stickball?

I’m letting Sofia get her hands on a Moxie Teen, or a BRATZ DOLL. I don’t want her even seeing it on Nickelodeon which – the more I watch it (with Nodari), I’m convinced is for adults. It seems that the brand being established by the Moxie Teens and BRATZ are to go out and have a good time, to wear the trendies clothes and… drive cars, get past the velvet rope…. and then the fantasy takes over.

Come On – What did you do with a Barbie and Ken Doll? Now me – My Star Trek Barbie and Ken are still in their original un-opened box…. oh yeah – I bought that when I was in my thirties. But you see my point. Boy Doll, Girl Doll?

If you go to popcrunch or type in Celebs behaving badly you’ll get this liist: Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears,
Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, Jamie Lynn Spears, Megan Fox, Ashlee Simpson, Paris Hilton, Vanessa Hudgens, Victoria Beckham, Ashley Tisdale, Angelina Jolie, Jonas Brothers, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Linda Hogan, all seemingly a good fit (and again – just my take), for the MOXIE TEENZ and the BRATZ.

I bet you can get a doll for each one of them. In fact, why disguise the fact. Whether it’s that super-size actress from that movie I never saw “Gabbi Sidibe” (I guess you have to Google it), or Lindsay Lohan, again, again, again, I wonder if we have to think about the influences we’re putting in front of our kids.

Now I’ll let the RAMONES tell you what I think about the MOXIE TEENZ AND THE BRATZ.

RAMONES BEAT ON THE BRATZ AND MOXIE TEENS - BOTH A DANGEROUSLY BAD BRAND FOR OUR KIDS

Curious what the Marketing Doctor John Tantillo would have to say on this. Look for him soon in an upcoming post.

Currently in Beta, SplashVideo.tv syndicates to 150 Viral Video and Social Media Sites as well as mobile content to 70 countries. A little about myself, I head the digital media and emerging technologies division of GCMP.tv. In addition to being a leading New York media strategist, Brian specializes in social commerce, webcasting, building your own network (BYON), ghostwriting and blogging. iProgram specializes in Live To Phone Technologies, mobile video and marketing strategies from its base in New York City. I am also an expert on webcasting and am frequently called upon to execute webcasts from in studio and remote locations. I am a leading New York Based Streaming Media Encoding Technician.

NUMBER ONE HARDEST JOB….. HOUSEWIFE.

That’s right. The NUMBER ONE HARDEST JOB IS HOUSEWIFE.

I’m admitting it, Stay at Home Moms… you win. The next time I come home from a 14 hour day, I will make sure to slink in rather than barge. The woman who stays at home with the kids – I wouldn’t want that job – I think I’d rather be President.

We did a Satellite Media Tour with Samantha Bee from the Daily Show (she’d just written a book called the 5 second rule), and after the Satellite Media Tour we did (and executed at a very high level if I do say so myself), an interactive webcast with 25 or so of the top Mommy Bloggers.

How does she do it. She’s not a Stay At Home Mom…. She’s not a Housewife – yet I remember the tour and little did I know a lot of the things she was saying (which I thought were to get a laugh?), were actually prophetic!

Guess what… I’m not laughing now.

Well first – before I became Mr. Housewife – here’s a reminder of what I used to do in the Broadcast PR, Media Relations world. This is me with Hilary Swank on Iams’ Home for the Holidays Campaign benefiting the Bid-A-Wee shelter in Manhattan.

Number One Hardest Job is HOUSEWIFE

With an 11 year old and a 10 month old – there is nothing harder. Between preparing the food (my wife Shorena makes her own and it’s organic…. of course), cleaning the bottles, changing and bathing, keeping my daughter out of trouble (right now she’s got a pen, an empty cd case and has just tugged the iTouch from it’s perch onto the floor). Because she’s crawling and starting to walk, I’m constantly coaxing her to not do stuff or go to sleep and the crying, the crying…… I try to feed her but I turn around and somehow she got a hold of my wallet? Everything is all over the place, I can’t take my eyes off her. When she’s good and when she’s bad.

Number One Hardest Job is HOUSEWIFE

But I finally was able to get her to go to sleep. Flab comes in handy after all.

And that’s just the little one. What does the Housewife do with the bigger one that adds to her having the hardest job.

Well, when he’s not jumping around on the couches, my 11 year old wants to play Soccer and Stickball, watch Spongebob – all the time. Nothing wrong with that. Except he can SOMETIMES be a weasel when it comes to getting his reading and/or math work in. He’s also in Georgian Dance, playing, dancing, scooting around – asking a ZILLION questions so I’m like an encyclopedia…. Housewife with all the answers please help! And when I’m not continually coaxing HIM to do his work and always turn around to find him doing anything else but his work – like now – he’s messing up my hair instead of doing his reading, or wants to have a pillow fight.

The rest of the time he’s loafing and doing whatever he can do to avoid reading his book on a hot summer day. Then do what I became an expert at – CRAMMING. That short term knowledge though can only be achieved if you can read which I keep trying to explain to him. But give him credit – he’s persistent and good… at loafing!

Here he is doing some of his better work!

Number One Hardest Job is HOUSEWIFE

Wait until Part Time Stay at Home Mom and Housewife gets home and her hands on him. He knows when Mom gets home that she’ll put the fear of God in him but Oh… .there’s the neighbor’s loud rap bass booming through the floor.

How does Mom do it? You know, even though she gets to stay at home and all and be a Housewife. The Housewife does all this right? Regardless I now agree the housewife has the hardest job. I admit it. I can’t wait to get out of here and stop being the Housewife myself.

Even if she diiiiddddd do it….. until she took a part-time job in the city. Since GCMP folded, I’ve been setting up SplashVideo.tv, and have been working from home with the coders (setting up over 160 viral video and social media sites). Big mistake. I shouldn’t have let on that I didn’t need to be in the city full-time anymore.

Oh how I wish for the days when I couldn’t get Michelle Branch and EVERYWHERE out of my head and had CHASE on the brain. But I’ve been drafted now 3 days a week and the only time I can do a blog, network or do sales outreach is when (like now) the baby is sleeping. Otherwise – she’s usually in my arms or I’m chasing her around and putting stuff out of her reach.

There’s the siren. Sofia McLane is officially awake. Whoops – it’s been almost 4 hours which means I have to start preparing her food. And then walk her around outside (which I love), but – it’s non-stop. Here they are together!! My 11 year old Nodari and his younger sister Sofia (“Sopo”).

Number One Hardest Job is HOUSEWIFE

So – I throw in the towel. I’m not admitting defeat, I clean the poopies, and whip up the organic mash, the strolling, and do the rocking to sleep – but being a Stay At Home Dad is tougher it seems than being a Stay at Home Mom. It’s a known fact that women have a higher threshold for pain. Is this what the Mommy Bloggers know? Is this what the Mommy Bloggers are blogging about?

When I came home at night I used to ask my wife, make that my HOUSEWIFE, what was so tough about her day, like I could do a Housewife’s job standing on my head.

Here’s the evidence. My house was clean when the day started. I folded the laundry…, cleaned the bathroom….Ironically my shirt says “LUCKY.” That’s IT! I’m getting a job.

Wait SOPO!!!! What are you doing – you’re throwing my papers all over the place!!!!!

Number One Hardest Job ever is HOUSEWIFE

Until Brian McLane became a housewife – the hardest job ever, he was dedicated to launching SplashVideo.tv.

Now it’s all I can do to get Sofia to eat. Remember here comes the airplane?

HOUSEWIFE IS HARDEST JOB

Open wide? Now I get it!!!

HOUSEWIFE IS HARDEST JOB EVER

Men – this is serious. We have to do something. How did we get away with it for thousands of years? My house was clean when the day started! Look at it now!

HOUSEWIFE IS HARDEST JOB EVER

Makes me pine away for the days when I would sit up all night and repeat myself over and over to Indian Web Developers. Where Have All The Good Times Gone?

HERE’S VAN HALEN’S VERSION FROM 1982.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD TIMES GONE? HOUSEWIFE IS HARDEST JOB

Currently in Beta, SplashVideo.tv syndicates to 150 Viral Video and Social Media Sites as well as mobile content to 70 countries. A little about myself, I head the digital media and emerging technologies division of GCMP.tv. In addition to being a leading New York media strategist, Brian specializes in social commerce, webcasting, building your own network (BYON), ghostwriting and blogging. iProgram specializes in Live To Phone Technologies, mobile video and marketing strategies from its base in New York City. I am also an expert on webcasting and am frequently called upon to execute webcasts from in studio and remote locations. I am a leading New York Based Streaming Media Encoding Technician.